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The Pastel Pirate

[ website | Wonderland Effect ]
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Nothings Gona Change my world... [01 Jan 2008|01:54pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

Words are flying out like
endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass
They slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow waves of joy
are drifting thorough my open mind
Possessing and caressing me

I have been very... Emotional lately, almost to a point that it is too much. I have been acting unlike my own character. I have probably have listened to the Stuttering song 1000 times.With that I have to say part of me actually feels terribly connected to Dave.That one song describes him in every word, Madly in love with someone who he knows is the only person that can ease his suffering and pain of love. Isn't that terrible. I will definitely get slapped 1000 times for saying I feel bad for him. See this is what is my problem.

Music. Music, I don't know how to describe it but it is that thing that makes me so emotional. It makes me happy and it makes me sad. And I know for a fact that If I am not in the mood for some type of music I will put on some other type. And It makes me feel different, it drags me down an emotional roller-coaster spitting me out were ever it chooses.Yet with my ipod on shuffle I skip songs until I just ending putting on the song I started with. Just like that, with the same roller-coaster it picks me up, a song I have heard 1000 times sounds so much better and makes you so much more emotionally attached when it is played on the radio.

So me and Deanna went to see Sweeny Todd. It was really good. It was like a gothic musical, either way it was good. If Cannibalism turns you off don't go see it, its pretty gruesome. One thing I will comment on is that blood is not that color. Helena is looks so awesome I love her costumes, and of course Johnny was amazing, he actually sung. I think for the only role he had ever sung he wasn't half bad.

My horoscope says that I will do something out of my daily routine today. Well I don't really have a daily routine. I did however bake some chocolate chip muffins for breakfast. I have about 5 packages of Chocolate chip muffin mix. I also have a box of Cinnamon Strudel from Cinnabon that I can make. That might be tasty.

I think... My news year revelation is that... Well prince charmings don't just fall from the sky, Life is definitely not like a movie, and when you find someone that you love hold onto them with all your might and never let go. I have to admit it is really sappy for me to say but If you find the right person you should tell them I love you every chance you get, unfortunately if you don't say it enough your chance with them might fly out the window.

Part of my New Years resolution or whatever is that I will hang out with my friends more. Or at least hang out with some friends much more then I used to. I hate to say It I really do but none of my friends.... Hang out... Constantly we make false promises to hang out and they are never kept. Me and Deanna have hung out much more then any of my other friends, and I love her to pieces I really do but I would, for a chance like some other friends to hang out with, not just one. So with that you must know, I am always up for baking cookies and watching movies. I should plan to hang out with Kari and Emily one of these days... I barely see them... Actually... If I play my cards right we should just all go some were and eat and chill.. Like seaside. But that would only work in the summer....

....I wait to fill my locket....come find me I think I am lost.

P.s. Over the break I went to the restaurant the Melting Pot and it was SO fun. fondue is like amazing, I could eat it all day, I would get fat but yeah it is so good. My mom has a fondue pot but she never uses it, what a shame.Fondue anyone?

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Kiss me again.... Just to make me stop stuttering [29 Dec 2007|11:13pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

PinkPhoenix90 (9:30:03 PM): Aim hates me
weetlewaffles (9:30:08 PM): why
PinkPhoenix90 (9:30:25 PM): I dunno
PinkPhoenix90 (9:30:31 PM): It just does.
weetlewaffles (9:30:40 PM): uhh ok?
PinkPhoenix90 (9:31:32 PM): It just keeps closing itself D=
weetlewaffles (9:31:38 PM): wierd
PinkPhoenix90 (9:35:52 PM): I miss hugging you and I was such a butt for not talking to you. and because of it you probably hate me. And I hate it. And I'm such a butt I admit it. But I had to tell you that it makes me sad that we barely talk and we barely do anything anymore. If I hadn't gotten sick this woulda never happened. Sorry I just had to tell you, and I feel terrible

I have yet to get an answer.

New LJ layout, come check it out... Self made <3

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If you feel terrible you look terrible. [29 Dec 2007|11:49am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

I feel terrible, so I look terrible. I gained some weight because I was sick, so what did I decide to do... Play DDR of course...


I'm going to the mall with Deanna. Shall be fun!

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Fun quizes from Gurl.com! [28 Dec 2007|10:28pm]
[ mood | awake ]

gURL.comI took the "the game of love " quiz on gURL.com
My game is

Do you prefer relationships that are built out of long-term friendship? According to John Lee, you seem like a lover who prefers the Storge style of loving.

Read more

What kind of game do you play?

gURL.comI took the "The Aura Color Personality" quiz on gURL.com
My aura is...

Interior decorators will tell you to paint your walls yellow to make your room more cheerful. That said, it's as if those with yellow auras live their entire lives in a yellow room. Their happy-go-lucky, optimistic personalities and nearly boundless energy make them the life of the party. Read more...

What color is your aura?

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It is a Merry Season. [25 Dec 2007|10:25pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Lets just put it this way, bad choices are behind me and I am not looking back. That is gone. Onto the future.

I miss him. What can I say. He was the only one who I ever thought would make me happy. He does make me happy. Why am I counting my chickens before they hatch? Because, recently it has been down hill. Like a steep slope with ice.


Its like, you fall down a hole, but you don't know how deep it will be, and if it ends you can crawl back out, if not you are screwed and you can never go back. Thats the way it seems like with me and Gannon. I'm falling deeply. I need some pick axes to climb out of this hole. Or someone could throw dirt in the bottom. I'm falling fast.

Long story short: We are in love one day, then then next we are barely speaking. In the beginning it was because I didn't want to be bothered because I was sick. Then It blossomed into something larger.

I just want him back. We haven't broken up, we just kinda don't speak. I'm hoping for the better of to weevils {10
points for anyone who can name the movie that line came from}, to fix what went wrong and to get him back. I need to be loved, I need to be loved by him.... Its getting lonely in Lauraland.
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Honestly my friends. [02 Dec 2007|09:16am]
Have I lost myself?

I'm not quite sure.
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And Now Presenting.............The living doll. [04 Nov 2007|11:11am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

I first off want to congratulate myself for getting into COLLEGE! Wow, Rolling admissions really jumps the gun now doesn't it. And not only is it College, but it also includes a 4,000 bribe to go to that college. Something they like to call an ACADEMIC scholarship. I guess it really isn't that HARD, coming from me who got a 350 on the math section of the SAT because of a Classified learning disability. Wow, a Scholarship, I guess my thoughts of never getting into college were succumbed because one person thinks I can do it. Congratulations SELF. I never thought I could do it, in fact I convinced myself I couldn't.

I seriously need to start working out again. I need to start so I look decent on the senior trip. Don't ask and don't tell me that I am skinny. People look in the mirror and see themselves, others look at that person and see someone different. I just don't want to look like I did 2 summers ago, I don't want to go on senior trip and have everyone see who they thought was teenyweeny and realize that she wasn't.


GROSS. Right. Like I said I never want to see THAT again.

College. In college I want to be a graphic designer. I wont to take Graphic Design as my intended major, Cabrini [The college I was accepted too] and Centenary are the two schools that I have visited that have the best Graphic Arts department I have seen yet. I am still going to visit Marist, they have other courses besides graphic design. I am trying to convince Gannon to go there if I go there because they have video game design. I will tell you flat out, Graphic design is not a hobby, it is not a passion, it is an obsession. And I will be frank and if anyone has a problem with this they can go suck there thumb and cry and shove it up their ass. I laugh every time someone says "I want to get into graphic design" and they only do graphic design for themselves. I will tell all those potential graphic designers, as a website owner, it sucks like HELL when no one comes to your website. It feels like shit when more people visit worthless and pointless personal blog sites then my site. And Worst of all it grinds you up and spits you out when someone says "Your not good enough to join my ___________". By blank I mean whatever it is you applied for whether it be affiliates, clubs that need designers, or free labor staff to a website. Depending on the place... I'm still not good enough.

Like I said Graphic Design is my obsession. I was crying for joy when I saw that I had 67 visitors yesterday. That is the highest amount of visitors I have EVER had. And that is over the course of 3 YEARS. So like I said I laugh and laugh and criticize those who think they can make it as a graphic designer when they only have their friends as people who complement them. And yes, I laugh at personal sites too. Don't like that? Did it HURT your feelings? Well I have one thing to tell you, its not you. Its your website, I may love you as a person and still laugh at your website because you suck, or at your graphics because they suck.If I actually like your graphics and website that is another story. But yes, I laugh, and don't ever tell me it is wrong to do because that is my way of getting over the fact that I want to curse you off because of how much I hate your instant success. Never going to talk to me again? Don't say that darling, because I am human and I betcher knickers that you do the same thing. To me and To others, and I just admit that I do.

Now if you'll excuse me I must go to work. And when I come back I wont turn around and finish my conversation, I will start a new one. But that is only after I cure my obsession for the time being.

And heres a fix for you: [Coming right off my site from when I update later, these are just the teasers there are more]

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MRSA one more cause of death, [26 Oct 2007|06:31pm]
[ mood | amused ]

This MRSA Bacteria infection thing is going around our school and I am like a psycho -shall not get sick- freak and all I have been doing all day is wiping off my hands and face with this anti-bacterial wipes my mom gave me. I think I am mainly afraid that if I do get it and the only cure enough to fix it is penicillin and I will DIE because I am allergic to penicillin. Lovely.

Tuesday is trick-or-treat and me and Gannon are going together since he is adorable and even though he is a crazy larping geek -Live action Role play- he loves me and it is very hard for him not to hang out with me or talk to me. I was thinking about wearing my platform Mary-Jane's along with my pirate outfit but I decided against it because I figured that I might trip fall and kill myself, another not good thing.

Parents are also spazzing about college stuff and I am particularly A. happy and B. sad about going. I want to go to college and learn all about cool flash stuffs and other neat stuff for websites and other things that I want to get into the future but I also don't want to leave Gannon, and he doesn't want to leave the area for school at all. -sigh- My heart is being pulled.

Ahh the Sims2 Bon Voyage is amazing must play million times a day! Ahhh. =P okay so now I want the Sims2 seasons. Once I get into college I will get a new computer regardless so this laptop can be my Sims2 laptop! -bwahaha- Well I have to keep this thing alive for another 6 months before I can completely trash it and kill it with games.

I also have to finish that logo for Joey. I'm getting paid to do it and currently I only have part of it done. I need to make a Favicon and a logo and I only have the logo done because I have no clue which favicon freeware I should download so I don't kill my computer or worse. If anyone knows of any freeware favicon programs I would totally love to know of them. If you want me to make you a favicon and you suggest me to a favicon freeware that is good I will gladly make you one! <3

Cross posted: Http://www.wonderlandeffect.net

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I have nothing left to give [22 Oct 2007|06:32pm]
I only get a couple of veiwers a day on the site:


I need to remember to pay Sara for that tomorrow. >.<

I have nothing left to add. I thought it was going to get so many more hits now that it has a plug board and a chatterbox and now that it is [dot] net bahh. It seems not so . I need to add more stuff I was thinking maybe wall paper for desktops but then I was like "Nuuu people will steal them" well whatever you choose.

What should I add?

Glitter stuff
Wallpaper and glitter stuff
Stock photos
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The number one leading killer in women is heart disease. [18 Oct 2007|08:52pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

I have become addicted to a dangerous habit again. One word. Reading. It surprised me how actually addicting reading is. You don't think about it when you open a book and enter an alternate reality, but truthfully it is dangerous. You just sit there for hours zoned out not caring about a thing in a world except for how the book is going to end. I actually haven't pleasure read in a while. It started 3 days ago when I picked up "The Misfits " just to get it off my shelf. That was just the beginning, the Misfits actually changed my mind a bout bullying actually it didn't, it just made me think. You know all those people that get made fun of just because they are different? That makes them a minority not because of the color of their skin but because they are DIFFERENT. It makes them a minority because they are different not part of a minority. Good book.After that book I read "Stargirl". That was good as well but I think I enjoyed "The Misfits" more.

Actually. I lied. My addiction is not just reading. It is the dangerous chemical bond of TheSims2 and Reading that causes a catalyst effect.

Catalyst, that is the book I am currently reading. It isn't a book for someone who knows a young child. Really seriously don't read it if you have a young child because I cried and it will make anyone more attached to a young child cry even more.I'll either finish it tonight or tomorrow in school which means that I need to bring another book with me to school I will probably bring "The road to Wimbledon" by George Orwell, he is not an author I am particularly fond of but it is another book sitting lazily on my bookshelf that needs to be removed.

I don't know why I think the way I do. There is no reason or rhythm behind it. I just think. In the concept of my thoughts it always seems that there is one fact in common. It seems as though I am dictating to my Livejournal -as I am now- in a fashion that makes me never remember what I say in my head. I guess it is just a way of me working out my problems. Yes. Problems.

I have also found it strange that the books I have been reading in the last few days seem like the type that are just the lives of normal people turned into books. How do you do that? I mean, could you do that! Of course you could. Its quite obvious that if someone had to makeup a story life in order to make a fiction that would relate to everyday people that you could just as easily write about an incident in your life and call it a novel. However, I don't think the exact intensity of it would be the same. It would be an unimportant, not at all grasping autobiography.

I've thought about it a lot actually. Thought about writing a book that is. I always have envisioned myself as a fantasy writer because that is the type of world my dreams consist of.It took me a long time to think. The entirety of my SAT training has led me upon article upon article of useless information. One talked about how writers -mainly poets- are not as wonderful as they once were, they didn't hold the same magnitude as say Edgar Allen Poe did. I think it is the same way with writers. Technically we are the authors of our lives every time we open livejournal and record instances from that day. Some go into more detail, talking of far off places and adventures talking of love and loss and of everything in such a way that it has a pattern, one that consists of words skillfully put together as if to tell a story.

Other journals just regurgitate information of that day "i did blaahh and then we blaahh" yeah nothing worth reading but you do because you want to know what is going on in that person's life.It's purpose is to really be an updated source of information about that person. Made with no detail and no real care behind it except to squabble off facts and rant about that day, even possibly post pictures they think are funny.

I don't know why but I guess being in honors English makes you see things differently.Or maybe I'm just a dumb ass prick who likes to insult people for their lack of creativity in everyday life that doesn't necessaritly require any creative actions.

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Time, Were have you gone? [11 Oct 2007|05:31pm]
[ mood | happy ]

It has been WEEKS since I have played DDR at all. Emily would be proud of me, I don't really think I'm too happy about it. Well I mean My life hasn't just changed because I haven't played DDR. Its that I have no time. None at all. I go home from school and I go to work until 6 and then I come home and do what? SAT shit that can be shoved up my ass because at this point if someone mentions me taking the SAT and failing one more time I think I will have a mental breakdown and throw the book ot the window.

Go fucking damnit. I don't have a temper problem, barely anyone has seen me go crazy, and that is the last thing I want to do. I just have a cheerful disposition and I can't help it. I just want to run away and live in my 6.5mil house with gannon and give not a care to the world. Its very hard to understand. Because anyone reading this right doesn't fucking have a clue what it is to do this shit, have your parents tell you you FAILED the SAT and that tough shit your going to a 4 year college because going to Occ for one year and transfering is the worst Idea ever. 

Like people say "Oh I know what its like to have parents that badger you and how they think you fail on purpous blagh blagh BLAH FREEKEN DAH" I don't bloody care give me all the bloody excuses you can because I'm sick of it I'm sick of everyone telling me "I know what its like, I've been there.. its happened to me to" BULL SHIT. I have a CLASSIFIED learning disability! Show me the documentation BITCH and then tell me you know what its like to be called a retart all your life and only RECENTLY learn that you are normal. Right thats how I feel. I excelled because I learned that I enjoyed highlighing and writing so much that I ran out of ink. Don't ANYONE I don't care WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE, don't you DARE tell me that you can't do something because you have a "disability", FUCK disabilities. What I learned was that a disability is only a term that someone uses to hide behind. I know from personal experience that being told that you have a disability no matter what type makes you feel less able to do things. Doesn't matter what it is. Personally. If you keep hiding behind this shit then you will never learn what life is because you will always cower behind the one thing that you say is your problem and you, whoever so chooses to read this must learn that I have more disabilities then I let known. And if you so choose to hide behind your "disabilities" then let me tell you one thing. YOU ARE THE DISABILITY YOU FURTARD! Get the hell overyourself and learn that just because you have a "disability" doesn't mean that you are less capable of doing anything!!! Fuck you. Seriously go to hell. I can't deal with your goddamn bullshit. I got over myself get over yourself.  and leave me the hell alone with how you can't do thisor that because you can't because you have a disability which means that you can't do something because I have them too. So leave me the hell alone and don't cry to me that you "can't". Because I "Can't" Pass math because I have a classified learning disability, I can't hear you because I am classified with hightone hearing loss and I can't walk because I brok both of my hips and I needed them to be rebuilt twice. Learnto get over it FurFace Retart.
You: I have a disability
Me: Good You now know that you are unfit for this world. Congradulations this means you will die young.
</rant> [not ment to anyone in particular it was just something I needed to rant about] Just as a warning: In all seriousness If you talk about a disability in front of me or how you can't do something then you will either be not talked to or you ill be blocked depending on how much I like you. But that Wont be an issue now will it. because I know none of my friends are that selfpittying that they need to force people to pitty them. 

My darling Emily has become a goddess aparently. Emily as in "Satan" she who walks the devil on a leash. Yeah its quite funny. This kid Conner is like madly inlove with her. I swear it, I really mean it. This group of crazy freshman are litterally worshipping my Emily.And Like I said maily Conner who is really nice <3 I just met him, and he has a cheerful personality for an EmO Bastard. It's really funny and I just enjoy every minute laughing about it with Emily.Gosh what would I do without her! <3 [She is my hired Assasin and she said she would kill Gannon if he hurt me, or anyone at that matter <3]  

Gannon, the sweetest person I have ever met. I will cry everyday next yearbecause I won't beable to see him. I love him more then anything else, he is my sunshine in everyday and the rain as it touches my warm skin. Everthing wonderful in the world is a symbol of him. He is my angel, he pulled me up and touched me forever. I want to run away with him just so that i know it will never end. It is a dream to me right now that we have been dating for a month, as of monday, we haven't even kissed. My darling Katie and her Prince Matt are madly inlove as well and they have advanced much more then Gannon and Myself have. In the end, I really don't mind. Just holding each other is enough for me and it seems like enough for him as well. It's really an illusion that he is even wiling to love me. He, who is the geeky perverted outrageous little whatever that he is, loves me, and I, I love him equally as well. I don't think my life will every be complete without him. It is too soon to jump to conclusions you say. But in actuality, if we are just dating by the way we act then we have been dating since this time last year, durring the flood. I remember it so well, because that is the day I first held his hand. The day I truely fell inlove. If eve is right then he is the geeky guy for me. If the worst does happen and I never see him again, then I know in my hear that there will always be a spot for him. And right now I could not love something anymore then I love hm.

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Watching movies is fun! [28 Sep 2007|02:57pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Its raining out! Mommy is spazzing about SATS but I think it is worth it. I guess.


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Yipee! [22 Sep 2007|10:45pm]
[ mood | amused ]

I created a lolita journal. The name is Marionettepastl and you can visit my new Lolita craft site at marionettechild.co.nr

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Your my starshine! [14 Sep 2007|09:32pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

So yeah.  If you don't already know Me and Gannon are officially dating. I think the worst part of it is that I wont see him until Tuesday.  Yeah its like really crazy. My parents are shipping me off to see some school 5 hours away. Its sad really, I guess I can call but you now how much of an anal person I am so its like I don't want to call him even though we talk about the most random things like making cookies.

-___-  I just don't like them listening in. I like had my laptop closed when I was turning it on so my parents didn't see that either. LMAO. -obsessive- Okay. I'm done now I'm going to look at prom dresses with Emily.

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Well HELLO sunshine! [13 Sep 2007|06:19pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

Shrine /ʃraɪn/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[shrahyn] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, shrined, shrin·ing.
1. a building or other shelter, often of a stately or sumptuous character, enclosing the remains or relics of a saint or other holy person and forming an object of religious veneration and pilgrimage.
2. any place or object hallowed by its history or associations: a historic shrine.
3. any structure or place consecrated or devoted to some saint, holy person, or deity, as an altar, chapel, church, or temple.
4. a receptacle for sacred relics; a reliquary.
–verb (used with object)
5. to enshrine.

=D I dunno why but I am HAPPY. I don't know that I have any real reason to be happy, I just am. People think I am utterly nuts, and I know I am. I love everything, EVERYTHING, thing recently. My iPod broke and those rip off artists at apple were like "Give us your iPod and we will give you a new one for $130."
Of course my mom yelled at me for not working that much over the summer and I was like "well whatever" I don't care I made 600 dollars over the summer that I could spend. Yeah its not a lot, Yeah I will wanna spend it in college. College? Don't Fucking yell at me about college mother. You didn't even finish, and when you could go back you didn't. Right... So my mom had been all crazy and was like "Well I guess we will trade it in since it can't be fixed" so we did and for my birthday I got an iHome from my parents which is amazing and I got a new iPod which I had to pay for [we did the trade in deal], and a hard case for the ipod because my mom is now psycho about me breaking things.... not my fault apple is a ripoff artist... didn't you see the 10 people come in with the broken laptops that they had to PAY to fix. Yeah... ripoff artists, dell didn't make me pay a cent except for the warranty and if I smashed my laptop in a million pieces I would get a new one in the mail. I mean, no good deed goes unpunished, but even still, negative energy attracts negative things. See this is why I'm happy. Well, mainly happy, right now Deanna is the only person who knows everything about me.

Okay so you asked why I added the definition for shrine in the beginning. Well the thing is, I don't know anymore because what I was going to say was that I had come up with the brilliant plan to make a shrining background for my desktop, including Sam [Johnny Depp in a role] and Gannon and just like fun stuff I enjoy. But really thinking about it I don't know if I want to. All I have to say now is that I smile at Sam, and I smile at Gannon equally and for basically the same reason. [off topic] I don't know why, but I feel like even though all of my music got basically thrown away, I am still happy. Please don't ruin it for me.

I have so much more to say. so many more inner thoughts but I can't bring myself to type them, like my infamous case study on "The battle of the sexes: Sex, Love, and The motions there of" and don't ask me to type it because it is 2 pages written, not even done and it is pretty deep and if someone reads it and becomes offended it will piss me the fuck off because... YOU TOLD ME TO TYPE IT UP CUNT FAG!!!. [Note] it is kinda based on people I know so if by chance it relates to you very well... then it may actually be in fact about you. P.s. Sara I have an article for you if you want it. Uhh... I know this is a bad place to mention it but it kinda has to do with my case study its called "I didn't know my Boyfriend was Gay" Yeah it has to do with this girl who dated a gay guy, and he didn't know he was gay or something I didn't read it but I thought you might like to read it.

I should read my New Cosmo girl and find out my October horoscopes... Wao... LMAO. For September it said, you will have two crushes keep both as friends for now, rigghhhttt, Like anyone SERIOUSLY is going to pop up in the next day and be like gorgeous and makes me wanna date them.... Well does Mr. Depp count? xD Okay..... I will get right on that Deanna. I will tell you the results of said experimental behavior induction to supper secret Moulin Rouge Can-Can Club... [Well you know what I am making reference too].

P.s. This is the last thing I promise:

Me: wants to call Gannon before bed just to yanno talk for another 2 hours.
Mom: wants me to go to bed at like 9 and wants me to do SAT stuff.

Okay, so wouldn't it make sense
to do SAT stuff now, that way I can call Gannon at like 7:30 and talk until 8:30 take a shower and then like sleep. No, apparently not. I wont even start the SAT stuff until like 7:30 because she wants to do this stuff before we start. I guess her thinking is like "Oh well she will have time on the computer before and after SAT stuff" well that makes sense but I really would RATHER do SAT stuff NAO get it over with, Call Gannon if he is done playing DnD and then take a shower. But no. No no no. Apparently not.

~Oodles of love,
   NiNi Legs-in-the-Air

Ohh and Christian... Don't worry Shakespeare, you'll get your ending. Once the Duke gets his end-in. -wink- ^-~

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The plague [06 Sep 2007|03:59pm]
[ mood | giggly ]

I realize now why I have become so comfortable with my self only recently.In the same respect why I have been so much more mature. The plague viva de TJ has rid itself from me, not only that but I also finally stopped something else from controlling me and I am finally happy. I just wanted to run and lay out under the clouds with my friends and just laugh at sillyness. I wish this would have come sooner.....

I love to tell everyone I love them, even with gestures, but today my gestures at a very favorite person made me smile because for once I actually meant it.No longer a gesture but a virtue. -giggle- Even in my being silly, I do these things, but I know you know I mean it.

I finally finished my essay for English I just need to type it and it have my dad proof read it. So I should start that soon...So I will be on later you can probably get me through AIM if you wanna talk [Not like you would] because my parents will probably tell me to shut off the AIM.

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Off to Neverland..... [05 Sep 2007|05:35pm]
[ mood | sad ]

I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus' garden in the shade
He'd let us in, knows where we've been
In his octopus' garden in the shade

I'd ask my friends to come and see
An octopus' garden with me
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus' garden in the shade.

We would be warm below the storm
In our little hideaway beneath the waves
Resting our head on the sea bed
In an octopus' garden near a cave

We would sing and dance around
because we know we can't be found
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus' garden in the shade

We would shout and swim about
The coral that lies beneath the waves
(Lies beneath the ocean waves)
Oh what joy for every girl and boy
Knowing they're happy and they're safe
(Happy and they're safe)

We would be so happy you and me
No one there to tell us what to do
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus' garden with you.

I'm not ready to grow up. I just wanna stay young forever just so I can see my friends everyday. So I can smile laugh and play.I'm not ready for college I know I'm not. I can't go into college and get a real job afterwards. I can't. My mind says 1000x ways to make money when I smile and think about it in a sitting with friends. I've never had the friends I have now. Please don't leave me.....I really need to them off with me. Or I will loose my sanity. Especially Gannon and Deanna.... My staple of life.

I am in tears now after listening to my mother screaming about how I need to discuss with my father that I don't want to go to an art school, and that I need to start on my college essays. -Shakes head- I don't understand, its like it has phased past me all summer. I just thought I would just kinda go there and not have to work to get in... and that I wouldn't loose my friends. I don't want to loose my friends in college because when I come back I want everything the same. I'm not ready for this. Really I'm not.

Maybe my cousin who you keep reflecting on is more prepared then I am. My cousin who had AP English for how many years?  I don't want to  prepare. I want to keep everything the same if I can. I know I can't we all have to grow up. All the reassurances I get "Oh we'll keep in touch", "If your really friends you'll keep in touch" that isn't enough for me. I want them to stay the way they are. I don't want it to change. only 4 more years of schooling to go but I still don't want to leave, 4 years is a LONG time.  Even with seeing each other every summer and  possibly taking road trips to visit people. I don't care....

.......Please don't leave me please don't change...

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Wish upon a willow. [04 Sep 2007|05:19pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

I took the idea of a friend and wished upon a willow. I won't tell you my wish until it comes true because It means a lot to me.

I fear however if someone takes off the ribbon that I am S-O-L. I guess if someone takes it off the tree i will just have to tie on a new one.

Mmmmehehheee... I'm watching an amazing movie... sing along??

I was feeling done in, couldn't win
I'd only ever kissed before.
I thought there's no use getting into heavy petting
It only leads to trouble and seat wetting...

Now all I want to know is how to go
I've tasted blood and I want more
I'll put up no resistance, I want to stay the distance
I've got an itch to scratch, I need assistance:

Toucha toucha toucha touch me, I wanna be dirty
Thrill me chill me fulfil me
Creature of the night.

Then if anything grows while you pose
I'll oil you up and rub you down
And that's just one small fraction of the main attraction
You need a friendly hand and I need action...

Toucha toucha toucha touch me, I wanna be dirty
Thrill me chill me fulfil me
Creature of the night.


Deanna This Halloween... you should be Magenta, I could be Janet and uhh we could find a gay guy to be Dr Frankein Furter.
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UGH! Standard, you win today. [02 Sep 2007|09:00am]
[ mood | amused ]

I played DDR last night for literally an hour. Light is getting WAY to easy. So I tried standard, well standard has speed arrows [as I like to call them] and they basically move a well a different speed then the other arrows. so you have to stepstep, step, stepstepstep, step. Savvy? well I can't figure out how to do the stepsteping without dieing. Right. I don't get it. So I put it on 1.5 speed OMG EVEN WORSE!. On light I am 2 speed. And would be 2.5 if they had a 2.5 and they don't but 3 is too hard. So I think I will try one or two stages before I go to work so I can shower and stuff.

Parent's aren't even up yet. My dog is like "Blehhhh" and I just want school to start so I can see the love of my life [ who probably hates me for sending him really strange texts with noise, colored font and animation -giggle- Oops... I <3 U] and my friends. I actually need to finish the invisible man but I don't wannaaaa. P.s. I will be taking the bus all year even though I have a car. Well maybe eventually I will take my car but not yet.

P.s. I MAKE BLINKIESSSS [And glitter font]

I can't decide If I should add them to my site or not. Hm.

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Like I've never seen the sky before. [28 Aug 2007|03:03pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

I spent most of the day and still at work Eve and lexi aren't here but I will probably only tay till five since I want a shower and I need to go to the junior meeting and stuff.

I  reading what Katie wrote and I realized that I really wanted someone there for me. Not like someone who I could sit on and hug but someone who after a long day of laughter and jokes would say something more meaning ful like "I love you"

Its no one's fault. It's really my own. I fell for stalkery people and now the one person I like doesn't give a yes or no answer to if he likes me. I feel this year aproaching fast. I know that I am more then excited to see my friends. But I once again know i will walk down the halls and watch people standing against walls as I turn my face. 

Its senior year and as the ten yeaold on the boat had mentioned. "Its senior year you should atleast have fun"

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